ACT Values Clarification Workbook: 9 Exercises to Find Direction

If you have ever felt like you are running hard but not quite sure toward what, you are not alone. Modern life is engineered around goals, productivity, and achievement, but rarely pauses to ask the deeper question: What actually matters to me, and am I living in a way that reflects it? This is the terrain of ACT values clarification, one of the six core processes of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

ACT, developed by Steven C. Hayes and colleagues in the 1980s, has grown into one of the most researched third-wave behavioral therapies in the world, with more than 1,000 randomized controlled trials supporting its effectiveness across depression, anxiety, chronic pain, substance use, and workplace stress [Association for Contextual Behavioral Science, 2024]. At the heart of ACT is a simple but transformative idea: psychological flexibility, defined as the ability to stay present, open up to difficult experiences, and take action guided by chosen values, predicts long-term wellbeing more reliably than symptom reduction alone [APA, 2023].

This article is designed as a practical, step-by-step workbook. Grab a notebook, block 45 to 90 minutes across a few sittings, and work through the exercises at your own pace. You will not be asked to fix yourself. You will be invited to remember what you already know deep down about the person you want to be.

Key Takeaways

• Values are freely chosen qualities of ongoing action — how you want to behave, not what you want to have or achieve.
• Values clarification predicts wellbeing more reliably than symptom reduction alone, and is supported by hundreds of clinical trials.
• Nine sequential exercises in this workbook move from perspective-taking (80th birthday) through sorting (card sort) to committed action (ladder + obstacle plan).
• Pain often points to values — what hurts most usually reveals what you care about most.
• Specific, implementation-focused actions (who, what, when, where) dramatically outperform vague goals.
• Values work is a practice, not an event — a weekly 10-minute check-in compounds change over months.

What Are Values in ACT (and What They Are Not)?

In ACT, values are freely chosen, verbally constructed qualities of ongoing action — the how of your behavior rather than the what of your achievements. Being caring, curious, courageous, honest, or creative are values. Getting married, earning a promotion, or losing 15 pounds are goals. Values guide direction; goals mark destinations.

The distinction matters. Goals can be completed, failed, or lost. Values cannot be completed; they can only be lived out or neglected in any given moment [Harris, 2019]. A useful metaphor from ACT is that values function like a compass heading: you never "arrive" at east, but east can guide every step you take.

What is the difference between values, goals, and rules?

• Values: Ongoing qualities (be present, be honest, be generous).
• Goals: Specific outcomes you can achieve or complete (run a 10K, publish a novel).
• Rules: Rigid "shoulds" often absorbed from family or culture ("I should be productive at all times," "I shouldn't need help").

Research from the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science suggests that people who confuse rules with values often experience elevated shame, burnout, and anxiety, because they are chasing standards they never actually chose [Hayes et al., 2011]. One purpose of values clarification is precisely to disentangle inherited rules from freely chosen directions.

How does acceptance and commitment therapy define values?

Acceptance and commitment therapy defines values as "chosen qualities of purposive action that can never be obtained as an object but can be instantiated moment by moment." Translation: values are verbs, not nouns. You do not have compassion the way you have a car; you enact compassion in specific behaviors, again and again.

Why do rules feel like values sometimes?

Rules feel like values when they have been internalized so deeply that questioning them feels dangerous. A child praised only for achievement may grow up believing "productivity" is a core value, when it is actually a survival strategy. Values clarification asks: If nobody would ever know, would I still choose this?

Why Does Values Clarification Matter for Mental Health?

Living in alignment with personal values is associated with lower depression, greater resilience, and higher life satisfaction. A meta-analysis of ACT for depression found that values-based interventions produced significant symptom reductions with effect sizes comparable to traditional cognitive behavioral therapy [NIH/NLM, 2020]. For a deeper look at the clinical picture, see our comparison of ACT vs CBT for Depression: What Clinical Research Shows.

There are also neurobiological hints as to why. Studies on self-affirmation, a close cousin of values reflection, show that briefly writing about a core value activates the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, an area involved in self-referential processing and reward, and can buffer physiological stress responses [Cascio et al., cited by NIH, 2016]. Simply put, reconnecting with what matters appears to soften threat and expand perspective.

Values clarification is especially useful when you feel:

• Numb, flat, or in a state of languishing without clear cause
• Overwhelmed by choices or paralyzed by decision fatigue
• Burned out from doing "all the right things" and still feeling empty
• Stuck at a life transition (graduation, divorce, career change, retirement, illness)
• Caught between what others expect and what you sense you need

The World Health Organization emphasizes that mental health is not merely the absence of illness but a state of wellbeing in which a person realizes their own abilities and contributes to their community [WHO, 2022]. Values clarification directly targets that positive definition of health.

Is ACT evidence-based for depression and anxiety?

Yes. The APA lists ACT as an empirically supported treatment for chronic pain, depression, and mixed anxiety disorders [APA Division 12, 2023]. For a fuller review of trials, mechanisms, and outcomes, see our overview of the ACT Therapy Evidence Base: What 30 Years of Research Shows.

Before You Begin: How to Use This Workbook

Set aside a quiet time when you will not be interrupted. Do not try to do all exercises in one sitting; aim for two or three sessions of 20 to 30 minutes. Keep a dedicated notebook or digital document.

Two ground rules that ACT therapists often share with clients:

1. Notice "shoulds." When you find yourself writing what you think you should value, gently star it and ask: If nobody would ever know, would I still choose this?
2. Feelings are data, not verdicts. If an exercise brings up sadness or grief, that often means you have touched something meaningful. Sadness at the gap between values and current life is a doorway, not a stop sign [Harris, 2019].

Exercise 1: The 80th Birthday Reflection

This is a classic ACT exercise, sometimes called the "retirement speech" or "funeral" exercise. It works by using perspective-taking to bypass the noisy chatter of daily concerns and surface what you most deeply want your life to have meant.

Instructions

Imagine it is your 80th birthday. The people who matter most to you have gathered. Three of them stand up, one after another, to speak about who you were and what your life meant.

Write down, from the perspective of each speaker:

• Who is this speaker? (partner, child, friend, colleague, chosen family)
• What do you most hope they would say about how you showed up in their life?
• What qualities of yours do you hope they name?

Do not censor. Write the ideal, not the realistic.

Reflection Prompts

• Circle every quality word (kind, curious, brave, playful, steady, honest).
• Notice: how many of these qualities are you actively living today?
• Which one, if you leaned into it 10% more this week, would matter most?

Cleveland Clinic clinicians note that mortality-aware exercises like this reliably shift attention from urgency to importance, which is why they are used in both palliative care and vocational counseling [Cleveland Clinic, 2023].

Exercise 2: The Sweet Spot Memory

Sometimes values are easier to see backwards than forwards. This exercise, adapted from Kelly Wilson's ACT work, uses a specific memory to reveal what already matters most to you in lived experience.

Instructions

Close your eyes and bring to mind a moment, however brief, when you felt deeply you. Not necessarily happy, but alive, present, and aligned. It could be a conversation, a walk, a moment of caregiving, a creative flow state, a challenge you met.

Write about it in sensory detail:

• Where were you? What time of day?
• Who else was there, or were you alone?
• What were you doing with your hands, your body, your attention?
• What quality of engagement was present? (tenderness, focus, courage, playfulness)

Reflection Prompts

• What does this memory say about what you care about?
• What conditions made that "sweet spot" possible?
• What is one small way you could seed a similar moment this week?

Exercise 3: The Ten Life Domains Wheel

ACT commonly maps values across life domains because people can hold different values in different areas. You may value adventure in leisure but steadiness in parenting. Both are valid, and both are true.

Instructions

For each domain below, write one to three qualities that describe how you want to show up. Then rate on a 0–10 scale: How consistently am I living this right now?

1. Intimate relationships: How do I want to be as a partner (or future partner)?
2. Parenting/caregiving: How do I want to show up for those in my care?
3. Family of origin: How do I want to relate to parents, siblings, extended family?
4. Friendships and community: What kind of friend do I want to be?
5. Work/career: What qualities do I want to bring to my labor?
6. Education and personal growth: How do I want to learn?
7. Health and body: How do I want to relate to my physical self?
8. Recreation and play: How do I want to spend leisure?
9. Spirituality or meaning: How do I want to connect to something larger?
10. Citizenship and contribution: How do I want to show up in the wider world?

Reflection Prompts

• Which domain has the largest gap between the value and the current score?
• Which domain is a hidden strength you may be under-crediting?
• If you could raise one score by two points in the next month, which would you choose, and why?

The Mental Health America Life Balance framework notes that people who track wellbeing across multiple domains report higher resilience than those who focus on a single area like work [MHA, 2023].

Exercise 4: The Values Card Sort

This exercise borrows from motivational interviewing research and is used in both ACT and clinical psychology programs at institutions like Johns Hopkins [Johns Hopkins Medicine, 2022]. The physical act of sorting bypasses over-thinking.

Instructions

Below is a starter list of values. Copy them onto small cards or a document. Sort them into three piles:

• Very important to me
• Somewhat important
• Not important right now

Sample values: Acceptance, Adventure, Authenticity, Autonomy, Beauty, Belonging, Caring, Challenge, Community, Compassion, Connection, Contribution, Courage, Creativity, Curiosity, Dignity, Discipline, Excellence, Fairness, Faith, Family, Forgiveness, Freedom, Friendship, Generosity, Gratitude, Growth, Honesty, Humor, Independence, Integrity, Intimacy, Justice, Kindness, Knowledge, Leadership, Learning, Love, Loyalty, Nature, Openness, Order, Patience, Peace, Perseverance, Play, Power, Presence, Resilience, Respect, Responsibility, Safety, Security, Self-Compassion, Service, Simplicity, Spirituality, Spontaneity, Stability, Strength, Trust, Wisdom.

Narrow Down

From the "Very important" pile, choose your top 10. Then narrow to top 5. Then, agonizingly, to top 3. The narrowing forces the deep sorting that matters.

For each of your top 3, write one sentence: "To me, [value] means..." Personal definitions matter. Two people can list "freedom" and mean radically different things. If sitting with the discomfort of narrowing is hard, the concept of acceptance in therapy — distinct from resignation — can help you tolerate the ache of choosing.

Exercise 5: The Pain-Value Bridge

One of ACT's most counterintuitive insights: your pain often points directly to your values. Founder Steven Hayes describes this as "the flip side of pain is purpose" [Hayes, 2019]. Where you hurt is often where you love.

Ask yourself: What hurts most in my life right now?

Now flip it: What does this pain tell me I care about?

Examples

• If I ache with loneliness, I value connection and belonging.
• If I feel bitter at work, I value meaningful contribution or fair treatment.
• If I grieve a parent, I value the enduring bond of family.
• If I feel restless in my routine, I value growth, novelty, or creativity.

The Anxiety and Depression Association of America notes that reframing distress as a signal about unmet values, rather than as a symptom to eliminate, is a core reason ACT reduces experiential avoidance and improves outcomes in anxiety disorders [ADAA, 2023].

Exercise 6: The Values in Action Audit

Now we cross from clarification into commitment, which is the second half of ACT. It is not enough to name values; behavior must follow. The audit exposes the daily gap between stated values and lived actions.

Instructions

Take your top 3 values from Exercise 4. For each one, list:

1. One thing you did this past week that expressed this value (even a tiny thing).
2. One thing you did that moved you away from this value.
3. One specific action you could take in the next 7 days to lean toward this value.

Make the third item concrete: who, what, when, where. Not "be a better parent" but "Tuesday after dinner, put my phone in the drawer and play Uno with my daughter for 20 minutes."

Behavioral commitment research reviewed by the APA suggests that specific, implementation-focused intentions dramatically outperform vague goals in producing follow-through, a principle at the heart of behavioral activation and activity scheduling for depression [APA, 2022].

Exercise 7: The Committed Action Ladder

Some value-aligned actions feel scary. If you value courage, showing up may involve fear. ACT does not ask fear to leave; it asks fear to ride along in the passenger seat.

Instructions

Pick one value-aligned action you have been avoiding. Break it into a ladder of 5 to 8 rungs, from tiniest possible step to fully realized action.

Example. Value: connection. Action: rebuild a friendship with someone I have grown distant from.

1. Look at their profile and notice what has changed in their life.
2. Type a text but do not send it.
3. Send a short "thinking of you" message.
4. Ask a genuine, open-ended question.
5. Propose a phone call.
6. Have the call.
7. Propose a visit.
8. Show up.

Move one rung this week. Only one. Then evaluate.

Exercise 8: The Obstacle Anticipation

Every values-based commitment meets resistance, both internal (fear, self-doubt, fatigue) and external (time, money, other people). Naming obstacles in advance dramatically increases follow-through, a finding from implementation intentions research supported by NIH-funded behavioral studies [NIH, 2021].

Instructions

For your committed action, write:

• What is likely to get in the way? (Be specific: time of day, mood state, competing pull.)
• What thoughts will show up trying to talk me out of it? ("You are too tired," "It doesn't matter," "Later.")
• What is my plan to move forward with those thoughts, not once they disappear?

The formula: "When [obstacle] shows up, I will still [action], because [value]."

Exercise 9: The Weekly Values Check-In

Values clarification is not a one-time event. It is a practice. Set a recurring 10-minute check-in, ideally on the same day each week, and let momentum build.

Ask Yourself

• Which value did I live most fully this week?
• Where did I drift, and what pulled me?
• What is one small commitment for the coming week?

Journaling this consistently amplifies the benefit. A study reviewed by Harvard Medical School found that reflective writing practices, including values journaling, produced sustained improvements in mood, sleep, and perceived stress over 12 weeks [Harvard Health Publishing, 2022].

What Are Common Pitfalls in Values Clarification Work?

The most common pitfalls in values clarification include confusing values with feelings, mistaking approval for alignment, waiting to feel motivated, all-or-nothing thinking, and skipping the grief that surfaces when values meet current reality. Naming these traps in advance protects the practice.

Am I confusing values with feelings?

"I want to feel happy" is not a value; it is an emotional outcome. Values point to how you act, not how you feel. Interestingly, when people live in alignment with values, positive emotions tend to arrive as a byproduct, though not always immediately.

Am I mistaking approval for alignment?

Especially for those raised in high-expectation environments, it is easy to identify values that would please others rather than reflect your own compass. Watch for "I should value..." language.

Am I waiting to feel ready before acting?

Motivation is a lagging indicator, not a prerequisite. Behavioral activation research from the APA and Beck Institute shows that action typically comes before motivation, not after it [APA, 2022].

Am I falling into all-or-nothing thinking?

You do not have to overhaul your life. A 5% shift toward a value, sustained, compounds into a different life within a year.

Am I skipping the grief?

Clarifying values often surfaces sadness about time, relationships, or possibilities that have gone unlived. This grief is not a problem to solve; it is part of the awakening. Let it be present as you move forward.

When Should You Seek Professional Support?

Seek professional support if values work is stirring up significant distress, or if you are navigating trauma, depression, or thoughts of self-harm. This workbook is not a substitute for professional care, and some terrain is safer to walk with a trained clinician alongside you.

The National Alliance on Mental Illness maintains a helpline (1-800-950-NAMI) and referral resources [NAMI, 2024]. In the U.S., the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is available 24/7. A trained ACT therapist can accompany you through values work that touches painful terrain and help you build committed action plans specific to your history.

The SAMHSA National Helpline (1-800-662-HELP) offers free, confidential treatment referrals in the United States, and is available around the clock in English and Spanish [SAMHSA, 2024].

A Final Word: The Compass Is Already Inside

People sometimes worry they will do values clarification "wrong" or discover they don't actually have any values. This has never been true in the many decades ACT has been practiced. Values are not implanted from outside; they are uncovered from within, often after being buried under years of shoulds, survival, and other people's voices.

What Hayes and colleagues found, and what 30 years of research have replicated, is that when people slow down, get quiet, and ask what they actually care about, they know. The knowing may be tender. It may be inconvenient. It may cost you something. But it will point true north.

Your job is not to earn the right to your values. Your job is to notice them, and then to take the next small step in their direction. That is the whole practice. And it is enough.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is ACT values clarification?

ACT values clarification is a structured process within Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for identifying the qualities of behavior you most want to embody across life domains. Unlike goal-setting, it focuses on ongoing directions (such as being caring, curious, or courageous) rather than achievements. Clarifying values increases psychological flexibility and guides committed action.

How long does values clarification take?

What is the difference between values and goals in ACT?

Values are ongoing qualities of action that cannot be completed (such as "be honest" or "be present"), while goals are specific, achievable outcomes (such as "finish my degree" or "run a marathon"). Values give direction; goals mark milestones along the way. Both matter, but ACT emphasizes that values guide the choice of goals, not the reverse.

Can I do ACT values work on my own without a therapist?

Yes — many people benefit from self-guided workbooks, especially for baseline clarification and light committed action. However, if values work surfaces significant grief, trauma memories, or depressive symptoms, working with a trained ACT therapist provides essential support. Self-guided work is a starting point, not a replacement for care when distress is high.

Why does my pain point to my values?

Pain and values are two sides of the same coin: you only hurt where you care. Loneliness reveals a value of connection; work bitterness often reveals a value of meaningful contribution; grief reveals the value of what was lost. In ACT, this insight helps reframe distress from something to eliminate into a signal about what matters most.

How do I know if a value is really mine or something I inherited?

Ask yourself: If no one would ever know, would I still choose this? Inherited rules typically carry a sense of obligation, shame, or fear of disapproval when questioned. Genuine values feel more like a quiet knowing that persists even without external reward. If the answer is complicated, that's normal — most of us hold a mix of both.

What if my values conflict with each other?

Value conflicts are the rule, not the exception (adventure vs. stability, honesty vs. kindness, freedom vs. commitment). ACT does not resolve conflicts by ranking values permanently; instead, it invites contextual choice — which value serves this moment, this relationship, this decision? Flexibility across values is itself a hallmark of psychological health.

References

American Psychological Association (2023). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. https://div12.org/treatment/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy-for-depression/

American Psychological Association (2022). Implementation Intentions and Behavior Change. https://www.apa.org/topics/behavioral-health

Anxiety and Depression Association of America (2023). ACT for Anxiety Disorders. https://adaa.org/find-help/treatment-help/types-of-therapy

Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (2024). State of the ACT Evidence. https://contextualscience.org/state_of_the_act_evidence

Cleveland Clinic (2023). Finding Meaning: Values-Based Living. https://health.clevelandclinic.org/

Harris, R. (2019). ACT Made Simple (2nd ed.). New Harbinger Publications. https://www.newharbinger.com/9781684033010/act-made-simple/

Harvard Health Publishing (2022). Writing About Emotions May Ease Stress and Trauma. https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/writing-about-emotions-may-ease-stress-and-trauma

Hayes, S. C. (2019). A Liberated Mind. Avery Publishing. https://stevenchayes.com/a-liberated-mind/

Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K., & Wilson, K. G. (2011). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: The Process and Practice of Mindful Change (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.

Johns Hopkins Medicine (2022). Motivational Interviewing and Values Elicitation. https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/

Mental Health America (2023). Life Balance and Wellbeing. https://mhanational.org/

National Alliance on Mental Illness (2024). Helpline and Resources. https://www.nami.org/help

National Institutes of Health (2020). Meta-analysis of ACT for Depression. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/

National Institutes of Health (2021). Implementation Intentions Research Review. https://www.nih.gov/

National Institutes of Health / Cascio et al. (2016). Self-Affirmation and Neural Reward Processing. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26541373/

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (2024). National Helpline. https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline

World Health Organization (2022). Mental Health: Strengthening Our Response. https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/mental-health-strengthening-our-response